Yu Wu

Chapter 132 I Like You

Mo Xi raised his face suddenly.

In the dim candlelight, Gu Mang's eyelashes trembled slightly, and then he slowly opened his eyes, those blue eyes were as deep as the sea.

He stared blankly at Mo Xi, all consciousness hadn't come up yet, only instinct controlled his expression, so that thin face was relaxed and soft, like the way "Brother Gu Mang" should be, extremely gentle .

"My princess...why are you crying..."

He sighed and murmured, but before Mo Xi could answer, Gu Mang's dream-like expression disappeared, and he gradually woke up.So almost visible to the naked eye - astonishment, fear, persistence, cruelty, regret... Every emotion is a fragment of his past, surging up like a tide, washing away the tenderness in his eyes.

After all these emotions faded, Gu Mang stood up suddenly, and withdrew his hand from Mo Xi's palm, his face was the kind of cruel mask he was used to wearing: "Mo Xi, are you crazy?! Who told you Come to Shura to look for me? Do you know—"

But what interrupted him was Mo Xi's sudden hug. This man's warm and firm embrace hugged him tightly, as if he was going to fish him out of the three-foot frozen lake and rub him into the world he hadn't seen for a long time. moon.

Gu Mang's blue eyes widened suddenly. He was so surprised and panicked by Mo Xi that he was hugged like this, so much so that he forgot what he originally wanted to say.

Mo Xi hugged him tightly, resting his chin on the top of his hair, kissing and stroking his hair constantly.

"I already know everything."

Just one sentence, Gu Mang's whole body tensed up, he struggled, trying to push Mo Xi away.But before he could use his strength, he felt the man holding him trembling slightly, and Mo Xi said hoarsely, "Senior brother, don't say any more stupid words, and don't do any more stupid things."

Gu Mang was almost at a loss.

For so many years, he has always pretended to be himself very well. He built the hardest shell, so that the world can only see his cold determination, hatred and cruelty.But when he woke up, he found that his disguise had been stabbed to pieces, and the person he wanted to protect the most appeared in front of him with red eyes, reaching out his hand to touch his soft heart that could not escape.

He almost instinctively denied it: "Mo Xi—you only have a half-knowledge at all, so what does my matter have to do with you? I told you that we are not the same, I don't... I don't..."

Mo Xi's response was to put his hand on the back of his head, his voice was deep and nasal, and he said, "You are not that kind of person at all."

Gu Mang: "..."

They seemed to be separated by a layer of ice, and Mo Xi outside wanted to hug Gu Mang under the ice.No matter how cold the ice is, he refuses to back down, so the ice layer melts and collapses bit by bit.

"You don't want to kill at all, you don't want to fight. You never thought of killing me, and you never thought of taking revenge on anyone..."

Mo Xi's voice was low, he was crying when Gu Mang fell asleep just now, but now that Gu Mang woke up, he didn't want to.Gu Mang has suffered enough, he doesn't want to let this soft and tough life worry about him and make him suffer.

"Eight years, Gu Mang, you are suffering..."

"Sorry, I didn't understand you."

Every time he said a word, Gu Mang's trembling in his arms became more distinct.And when the last words came out, Gu Mang felt as if he was about to be crushed by something at this moment. He shrank so much that Mo Xi could even hear his low choking sobs stuck in his throat, and could feel something. Warm liquid soaked his chest.

"No... no no..." Gu Mang pushed and shoved carelessly. Mo Xi had only seen his elder brother Gu Mang's smart and alert appearance before, but now he was cornered and struggled to lie, just to protect him. He, Senior Brother Gu who didn't let him get close to him, was so clumsy, so clumsy as to be stubborn, so clumsy as to be pathetic.

It was so clumsy that his whole heart and whole body throbbed in pain.

Gu Mang didn't know what else he could explain, what else he could sacrifice, he was just protecting others all the time, this kind of protection became an instinct carved into his bones, and once he couldn't do it, it would make him judge blindly. Dragons with claws are generally at a loss.

He kept repeating: "It's not like that...you don't understand..."

Mo Xi held his hand, his eyes were slightly red: "Do you really have to push me away?"

"..."

"It's been so many years, brother, do you know what is the most painful thing for me? It's not that you stabbed me, it wasn't that you left me, but that you became a person I didn't know at all...you know that I had How sad?"

"I know that you want to protect me and don't want to implicate me, but I have already told you that I have no one in this world besides you. When you are protecting me, why don't you think about it?" What is the cruelest thing for me to think? Am I afraid of suffering with you, afraid of being criticized and criticized by others? ——What I am afraid of is that you will never come back to me, Gu Mang, I am afraid of you Let's go!" Mo Xi closed his eyes, even though he could hold back the tears, his eyelashes were already wet.

"For so many years... I have always been sincere to you. I used to hope that my sincerity could be exchanged for your sincerity, but after so much, do you like me and are willing to be with me? It doesn't matter anymore...I just ask you..."

He stroked Gu Mang's head, lowered his eyes and kissed Gu Mang's forehead, suppressed the trembling of his voice, and said hoarsely: "I just ask you to give me a chance to protect you and accompany you...I just want to guard you ...You really can't tell me the truth, can't you share the burden on your shoulders with me even a little?"

"Gu Mang...I am also your brother and sister. Would you rather fall into a cold cave than let me live in such pain..."

What he said was so sincere and affectionate, but Gu Mang only felt extremely uncomfortable.

eight years.

From the day Gu Mang decided to become a secret agent, he had already planned Mo Xi's future.But at that time they were still so young and hadn't experienced the pain of love, so Gu Mang naively thought that as long as he was more unfeeling, this young man would feel that loving him was an extremely painful thing.

As long as it hurts, Mo Xi will let go sooner or later.

But he waited and waited.

The Mo Xi he stabbed was covered in blood, and the Mo Xi he stabbed was covered in wounds, but Mo Xi never put him down.Over the years, he has always hoped that Mo Xi could take their past love lightly, and hoped that Mo Xi could live a stable life, marry a gentle and virtuous wife, and have a group of lively and lovely children.

The irresistible affection and love that happened when he was young and frivolous, will be washed away by the years into ink marks that can no longer be seen clearly - this is what he originally considered for Mo Xi.

But he still got one thing wrong in the end: love or not love in this world can indeed be changed, but the heart will always be that one.

Mo Xi has never been a casual person, on the day he decided to confess to Gu Mang, what he gave to Gu Mang was not his love.

but his heart.

his……

Suddenly, Gu Mang realized that something was wrong. He pressed against Mo Xi's chest, and could feel that Mo Xi's spiritual flow was so weak that his spiritual core was almost shattered.

The situation in Shura's room before he passed out seemed to flash before his eyes again - when Mo Xi came to rescue him, his face was terribly pale, could it be that...

Gu Mang raised his head suddenly: "How did you know these truths?"

"..."

"You went to Bat Island again? You used the Time Mirror again?"

Mo Xi looked at his suddenly tense face, staring at those restless blue eyes, and slowly, there was a soft and sad smile between his eyebrows.

"Are you worried about me?"

Before Gu Mang could answer, he lowered his head and kissed Gu Mang's forehead as if he was afraid of being denied and rejected: "I'm fine."

But Gu Mang's heart seemed to be torn apart, all kinds of guesses flooded his mind and then faded away, leaving only one clear answer left on the beach.

This time Gu Mang didn't ask, he murmured, tears streaming down his soft face, he said, "...it's... Zashi Yujian..."

The long eyelashes closed together, Gu Mang held back and suppressed, as if he wanted to say something to clear the gap between them.

but……

eight years.Life and death were cruel, but they couldn't stop Mo Xi from chasing after him until he reached this path full of thorns.The obstacles he set up, the obstacles he left behind, did not stop the young man in the end.

His junior brother still chased after him. He turned his head in the dark and saw that his lover eight years ago was no longer so young. .His forsaken lover ran towards him, caught up with him, and then stood in the bushes, panting, and said to him——

Senior brother, Gu Mang, I'm here to pick you up, let's go home.

The ice surface shattered completely with a bang, into thousands of crystal light spots, and the person who had been sleeping for a long time under the ice layer was finally embraced by his little brother.

Gu Mang suddenly couldn't hold it anymore, the string that had been taut for eight years finally broke with a bang, and he finally burst into tears. He couldn't stop saying, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

It was I who underestimated your affection and failed to understand your stubborn heart.

I presumptuously made the choice for you, without asking which path you would like to take.

It's because I didn't respect your wishes, didn't understand what you care about most, and imposed my plan on your fate.

It's me who has been deceiving you... not giving you the chance to go with me...

eight years.

I've hurt you, I've hurt you, I've alienated you, I've hurt you, I've done everything to let you down, I even nearly killed you—

Why don't you look back, my little fool, my princess.

Why do you still have to risk your body and bones to dig out the truth, and then come to my side with a cloak and rain and scars? Why are you so stupid.

"Mo Xi, I'm sorry..."

Mo Xi's hand stroking his hair paused slightly, he might have misunderstood the meaning, so he said: "It's okay, I know what you chose, and I also know what you endured, suffered, and paid for this choice... ...You don’t need to apologize to me, in fact, I have already told you that if you really don’t like me and want to be unrestrained, I won’t force you anymore, as long as you can come back…” He said, the circles of his eyes slowly turning red , his lips lightly touched Gu Mang's forehead.

Like the most devout prayer.

"As long as you are well, let me accompany you, and give me a chance to share with you... Gu Mang, my good senior brother, that's enough."

Speaking of this, he was probably afraid that his hug would make Gu Mang feel caring, so he lowered his head again, and gently pressed his chin against Gu Mang's forehead nostalgicly, intending to let go.

But at this moment, he was suddenly hugged back by a violent force, and Gu Mang hugged him suddenly, like a stray beast finally returned to his companions, Gu Mang was completely incapable of crying, this homeless and lonely For a long time, the man who had endured too much and kept the secret for eight years, finally broke down in the arms of his lover and cried loudly. His forehead was pressed against Mo Xi's heart, almost howling, as if he wanted to take everything he had in these years. The sadness and pain are all shed in these tears.

Gu Mang hugged Mo Xi's waist tightly, his slender and soft eyes were wet and pitiful, he finally cried and said the words that had been buried in his heart all these years, almost rotten: "...it hurts... Mo Xi...I'm really in too much pain..."

Mo Xi was hugged by him, this kind of hug was like a drowning person grabbing a piece of driftwood, so desperate and so exhausted, his heart was suddenly tightened, he touched Gu Mang's head, bowed his head, He murmured: "I know, I know..."

"I do everything by myself... I can only do everything by myself... For so many years, I can't even say a word of my heart to the people around me, and I still want to kill the people of my own country, monk... Killing my siblings...it really hurts...Mo Xi..."

Mo Xi choked with sobs: "Yes... I know..."

"I'm really going crazy... It's like every day, every night, every moment, a knife stabs me hard, but I still want to say... Well done, very happy..." Gu Mang trembled He closed his eyes in pain, "...I don't want to kill people...I want to go back to Chonghua...I think Lu Zhanxing is still alive, I think nothing happened..."

"I know, I know, tell me, you'll feel better if you say it, I'll be with you, I'll always be by your side..."

But Gu Mang didn't say anything. Gu Mang opened his eyes that were washed blue with tears. After a while, he murmured in a low voice, "I don't want to leave you either..."

"I—" Mo Xiyuan couldn't stop thinking about comforting him, saying that I know everything, I understand you, but when he heard this sentence, he was taken aback.

For a long time, neither of them broke the silence, only the sound of heartbeats.

One sound, one sound, one sound...

So urgent, so fast, it seemed that the mantra that had been held in my heart for so many years was about to break out of the ground.

Gu Mang said softly, that tough and powerful person who exudes a calming courage all the time, is so cowardly at this moment.

It was as if a terrified man was cautiously opening his arms, trying to embrace an expensive gift he thought he was destined not to receive.

He said in a low voice: "I don't want to lie to you...I don't want you to go, I, I never want to..."

"..."

"I don't want to see you go, I don't want to see you with anyone else."

Mo Xi's hand stopped, his handsome and beautiful face suddenly turned pale, and then turned red again. He had obviously given up hope, thinking that he was just a senior brother, as long as Gu Mang was healthy, happy, and at ease , no matter what.He will never force him again, never force him, make things difficult for him.

But Gu Mang's words seemed to rekindle the fire that he had just extinguished with his own hands.

Gu Mang closed his eyes, years of camouflage finally fell apart at this moment.

He said, "Mo Xi, I really like you..."

Mo Xi's heartbeat seemed to stop at this moment, he looked at the person in front of him, at that wet, emaciated, but real face.

He had the best dream in his life, and he didn't dare to hear Gu Mang say these words sincerely.

"I like you, I have always liked you... I'm sorry, I was too selfish in the past, I didn't think about what you really want, what you are really afraid of, I just want to protect you in my own way, I don't know...but I don't know..."

But I didn't know that you would stumble and chase after eight years, letting go of your best youth, just to find me back.I didn't know that you had already identified a person for a lifetime from such a young age.

I don't know that even after going through so much, you are still willing to accompany me in the end, even to hell.

Gu Mang didn't continue talking, his face was lifted by Mo Xi, Mo Xi's eyes were moist, he raised his hand, and wiped away the tears on Gu Mang's face bit by bit.

He whispered: "But I don't know that I like you so much? Can I like you for so long?"

Gu Mang lowered his eyelashes, and said softly, "I'm sorry... I lied to you for so many years."

"..."

"Do you still want me?"

"Fool... From the first time I confessed to you, I said that I know someone, and it will last forever." Mo Xi's heart was trembling, but he still tried his best to maintain his composure.

He could no longer cry in front of Gu Mang, he had warned himself.

So he bent his moist phoenix eyes, and he showed a smile that seemed infinitely bright, but also infinitely sad, and he said: "The things I promised you are all in my life. Only eight years have passed. Years, you and I still have a long way to go in life, why would you say I don't want you. "

These two people who have endured countless forced lies and gone through so many vicissitudes of life looked at each other stupidly. Because of the broken mirror reunion that finally came, no one cried anymore, but also because each other knew the truth of life in their hearts. Although the road is long, it is destined to never be healthy again, unlike before, so no one can let go of the happy words.

They have long been tortured by fate and the current situation, but when the two pairs of moist eyes stared at each other, they still choked up, slowly gathered all the courage and warmth from their hearts, and looked at each other. Try their best to bloom the softest smile marks that they can emerge now.

A pair of scarred beasts finally embraced each other without gaps and barriers. The ice melted, and they could finally absorb each other's warmth and share each other's pain.

From then on, no matter whether it is the endless cold lake or April in the world, he will always be with him and will never be separated.