Chapter 44 Mother
Chapter 44 Mother
Nan Zhuo was stunned and didn't speak for a long time.The saddle of the bicycle is higher than the rear rack, and coupled with the original height difference between the two, he has to look up to meet Xiao Guo.
Xiao Guo raised his voice a little bit, the sun shines on his body, he is the purest and vigorous young man.Nan Zhuo was next to such a person, his eyes were lit up by the warm Jin Hui, he looked a little confused when he looked up at Xiao Guo.
"Being a valuable person and doing valuable things is the meaning of life." Xiao Guo said, "Just like Uncle Teng."
Then he stepped on the pedal again, Nan Zhuo stretched out his hand to support his waist, remained silent for a long time, and let out a "huh" forcefully.
Xiao Guo turned his bicycle to the street, Nan Zhuo muffled behind him and asked, "What do you want to do in the future?"
They rode slowly in the setting sun of the city, Xiao Guo thought about it seriously, and said: "My parents want me to do business with them."
"Oh," Nan Zhuo said, "I'm asking you."
"I..." Xiao Guo smiled a little embarrassedly, and said, "I really want to be a teacher."
Nan Zhuo was taken aback for a moment, and asked, "Teaching children?"
Xiao Guo thought about that scene, and felt that it was very inconsistent.He smiled again and said, "University teacher."
Nan Zhuo said, "That's the professor."
Xiao Guo said, "Yes."
Nan Zhuo asked: "What subject do you want to teach?"
"Physics," Xiao Guo replied, "I have the best grades in physics."
Nan Zhuo poked his back with plaster-covered fingers and said, "It suits you quite well."
Xiao Guo resisted not looking back, asked: "Why?"
"I feel like you can control the students," Nan Zhuo said, "They should all be afraid of you, and the discipline in the class is easy to manage."
Xiao Guo said: "College students don't need to observe discipline."
They are surrounded by people coming home from get off work, and the bicycles shuttle through the evening rush hour with a silky lightness.The wind whizzed past his ears, and Nan Zhuo suddenly said, "I want to go to college."
"I want to go to college." Nan Zhuo murmured and repeated this sentence, raising his neck and looking at the sky.His eyes were squinted by the evening light, and he said in a hoarse voice, "I want to go to college."
Xiao Guo rode his bike steadily, and asked slowly: "Your university, which school do you want to go to?"
This is the most frequently asked question by high school students and others. Nan Zhuo still looked up and said with a sigh: "Ah... I don't know... But I want to pass the exam in the capital. Go, leave here, leave Yufang City, leave Chen Fangyi, leave everyone."
Xiao Guo tilted the front of the car, but he snapped it back.Nan Zhuo hugged his waist a little tighter, and continued: "The Public Security University is there, and Uncle Teng graduated from the Public Security University."
Xiao Guo asked, "Then do you want to be a policeman in the future?"
Nan Zhuo lowered his head back and said, "It's not right...I can't be."
Xiao Guo didn't think much about it, and asked, "Why?"
He felt Nan Zhuo press his face against his back, but only for a few seconds, and then left again.
Nan Zhuo said: "When the police demand that there should be no criminals within three generations of the family."
Nan Zhuo stopped talking here, the meaning behind it was shocking, but Xiao Guo could hear his depression, so he didn't talk about this topic again.Silent stroke blows over the sycamore trees, golden and emerald green leaves rustle on both sides of the road, bicycles drive past below, passing the last light on the ground today.
Bright colors and shadows sprinkled mottled on the two of them, Nan Zhuo broke the heaviness first, raised his hand to touch Xiao Guo's stiff back, and asked, "What about you? Do you want to stay in Yufang City in the future?"
"I also want to go to college," Xiao Guo thought for a while, then said, "Go to the capital."
Nan Zhuo was stunned, he asked: "Have you ever been to the capital?"
"I've been there," Xiao Guo sounded a little more relaxed, "I went there once when I was very young, and then I went there again during the summer vacation in the third year of junior high school. At that time, my parents' business improved and they suddenly became rich. I took a trip to the capital with me. We went to see the flag raising. Once we got there, the atmosphere was different and very solemn. There was also the Forbidden City. We went there in the afternoon. We thought it would not be particularly hot in the north, but my mother turned out I almost got sunstroke, the Forbidden City is too big, I might not be able to finish it in a few days and nights.”
He narrated like a story, saying: "Things in the capital are more expensive than Yufang City. It is a very prosperous place. The food and food are different from here. Daoxiang Village is delicious, but it is very choking. My parents Bought me a bunch of…”
Nan Zhuo asked: "What is Daoxiang Village?"
"A dim sum shop, an old local brand in the capital." Xiao Guo said, "At that time my family was rich, and my parents spent money as revenge, and bought a lot of things back. The capital actually has whatever it wants. They don’t look at the price when they buy things. I, a child, can settle accounts better than them. But now every city has developed and everything is popular. My mother said that when she was young, she went to the capital with her relatives, brought food stamps, and found I bought a delicious snack, the red one was soft and sour, it was wrapped in plastic paper, and I later found out that it was fruit peel."
These pyrotechnic life details made Nan Zhuo very yearning, he said: "Sounds good."
Xiao Guo said: "If we go to the capital to go to university together, I can take you to play."
Nan Zhuo couldn't see Xiao Guo's expression when he said this, but he could hear a slight nervous tremor in his deep voice.Nan Zhuo smiled and said, "Okay."
He paused, then asked again: "Your family was very poor before, wasn't it?"
It may not be polite to ask such a question. The word "poor" is a word that makes many people sensitive.But Xiao Guo didn't care, said: "Yes."
He said: "My parents are not particularly educated. When I was young, I worked in an electronics factory. I really had no money. When I was a child, I only had a bed at home. The table I did my homework was actually a higher bench, which was against the gate. , No one can come in and out of the house when I am doing my homework. My parents were also very busy before, and when there is a parent-teacher meeting in class, there will be empty seats here... But I don’t pay attention to that, just study hard.”
When he recalled these, he was very calm, and even smiled.Nan Zhuo stared at his slightly sweaty back, and gave a soft "hmm".
The experience is not equal, but everyone has their own suffering, and the boy who is responsible for riding a bicycle is not the "baby" that Nan Zhuo said.He wasn't without a shadow hanging over his head, but he knew how not to let it become a part of him.This is the light that Nan Zhuo can't have, because Nan Zhuo has already missed the time to make up for it, and his special and tragic childhood turned into an endless nightmare, invading his bones and heart.
The so-called face is born from the heart, the soul under Nan Zhuo's pale skin is also withered and cold, like a corpse preserved in an ice cellar.
***
It was just dark when Xiao Guo sent Nan Zhuo home, and when Nan Zhuo entered, the living room was dark, and he assumed that there was no one in the house.Chen Fangyi has probably gone to KTV. Aunt Feng usually doesn't live here, so she should have gone home now.
He turned on the light, only to find Chen Fangyi standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of the balcony on the first floor.Nan Zhuo was startled, taking advantage of Chen Fang's turning around, he took a step back and said, "Mom."
Chen Fangyi was also well-dressed at her own home. She came in from the balcony with a graceful figure and said, "Are you back?"
This is a sentence that does not need an answer, and it is a bit unfriendly.Nan Zhuo didn't answer, but nodded.
Chen Fangyi sat on the sofa and asked, "Did your classmate send you back?"
Nan Zhuo curled up his fingers and nodded again.
Chen Fang asked, "What's your classmate's name?"
Nan Zhuo pursed his lips and said, "Xiao Guo."
"Oh, Xiao Guo." Chen Fangyi's face glowed beautifully under the light, and she asked, "Is it the boy who helped you fight last time?"
Nan Zhuo didn't expect that she still remembered, and said, "Yes."
Chen Fang asked, "Where did you go with him?"
There were several boxes of moon cakes and half a bottle of red wine on the coffee table. Nan Zhuo stood by, glanced over, looked at Chen Fangyi, and said, "Over there at the pier."
"You guys have a pretty good relationship," Chen Fangyi poured herself a drink, "I never heard of who you went out with on weekends before. Have you made friends?"
Nan Zhuo was stunned for a second, then said, "Yes."
"You really don't understand what I mean?" Chen Fang raised her eyebrows, "I'm asking you—have you made friends?"
The way the last four words were spoken was different, Nan Zhuo understood.However, without changing his face, he said, "It's a classmate."
"Classmate? Classmate, he will send you off by bike? Look for it at home, and wait for you outside in the early morning, and wait for more than two hours? Aunt Feng told me." Chen Fang laughed and said, " The classmate fights for you? Oh yes, when you talk about this, how is your hand?"
Nan Zhuo said, "It's almost done."
Chen Fang frowned, and asked, "You won't be disabled, right?"
Nan Zhuo raised his finger and said, "No."
"That's good." Chen Fang swung her wine glass twice, and asked again: "So, tell me the truth, have you ever had an affair with that..."
Nan Zhuo interrupted Chen Fangyi for the first time since he was adopted, saying, "No."
"Oh, it's still too tender, look at this guilty conscience." Chen Fang shook her head, leaned forward, and asked, "You like men, right?"
Homosexuality is not a new knowledge for Nanzhuo, nor is it an unacceptable existence. From the people in Qihe Village who talked about his and Nanyan's appearance when he was a child, to when he started school at the age of 11, he was stripped of his clothes by boys of the same age for the first time. I already understood what.Anything that is not accepted by the mainstream society has occupied an important part of his growth, and until today, he has even been psychologically separated from the normal world.
But he would never confess anything to Chen Fangyi, so he stood motionless and did not answer.
As soon as Chen Fang drank the wine in the glass, she asked mercilessly: "You look better than women, can you be hard on women?"
Such a straightforward question made Nan Zhuo frowned, and Chen Fangyi asked again: "Are you on good terms with him?"
Nan Zhuo said, "No."
"It's fine, I won't stop you from talking about friends, and the two men can't conceive." As soon as Chen Fang stood up, she was sharp and explicit, and what she said and did was far from what the word "mother" should represent. Far.
Nan Zhuo looked at her expressionlessly and said, "It's not good."
"Okay," Chen Fangyi seemed to have lost his patience, "you can do whatever you say, kid."
"Mom," Nan Zhuo said politely, "I went up first, and I haven't finished my homework yet."
As soon as Chen Fang saw him off, the boy's back was a little too thin. He had been so thin since he was brought back by Chen Fang.Chen Fangyi's purpose of adopting Nan Zhuo is not pure, she has her reasons, so she has kept a distance from Nan Zhuo for six years.Sometimes she speaks harshly, but Nan Zhuo is always respectful and obedient to her.Chen Fangyi always felt that this child was very precocious, but later she gradually realized that it was because of the dimness in his eyes, like an ancient well with no waves and no bottom.
Nan Zhuo was halfway up the stairs when he heard Chen Fang calling him.
He stopped, turned around and said, "Mom."
"Okay, okay, okay, tell me, it doesn't matter if it's a boy." Chen Fang looked at him from a distance, and said, "I'd rather you get along with male classmates, than you don't go looking for those old men outside the school." Men, do you hear me? It’s no big deal to like men, men and men, or women and women have lived too long, you just can’t get married, and no one will stop you. This, who you like, is a big deal Most of them are born, and you look like this, I am not surprised what kind of people you like. It doesn't matter who you are, you can't choose it, anyway, in short, you can figure it out yourself. "
She thought for a while, and then said, "But don't talk about your matter at school. They are both male and female. If you do something like this, you might be expelled? If other parents find out, it will probably cause trouble , I don’t have the strength to deal with them, save me some trouble. And it’s easy to separate friends in high school. It’s better to wait until you go to college. The last time I saw your classmate at school, he was just a fool. How do you say that, Lengtouqing. Is he very boring? I think it almost means that men also need to understand romance."
Chen Fangyi is extremely open in this regard. Although she expresses poorly and what she said is only based on her not noble worldview, she has already said everything she knows, mixed with her commonplace wisdom.She didn't know why she said these words to Nan Zhuo, but she saw Nan Zhuo nodded.
"I see, Mom." Nan Zhuo spoke very slowly, and it was the first time he said these two words sincerely: "Thank you."
This was the closest Chen Fangyi got to his mother in his memory.
***
Only he himself knows how much Nan Zhuo took to heart during this conversation, but he did not keep a distance from Xiao Guo.The homework in school is heavy, and everyone's time is limited, but there is a kind of tacit intimacy between the two people. Although there is no exchange ceremony, they have already learned the past that the other party will not share with others.
After autumn, the weeping leaves withered and fell, and it seemed that there was only steel and concrete left in Yufang City, which was the same color as the winter sky.
At the end of November, Nan Zhuo went to participate in the chemistry competition. His hands were not good enough, but three fingers were enough to hold a pen.When he came out, Xiao Guo waited for him outside the examination room pushing a [-]-bar. The security guard was impressed by the boy who had been waiting outside for three hours, and asked if they were brothers.
After asking this question, Brother Security himself denied it first, shook his head and said, "No, it doesn't look like it!"
Xiao Guo and Nan Zhuo both laughed and didn't answer him.
Xiao Guo asked, "How's your answer?"
Nan Zhuo thought for a long time, and suddenly said: "Very good."
Xiao Guo looked at him sideways, the car almost slipped.Nan Zhuo didn't know it himself, but there was a kind of ruthlessness in his eyes, and even when he was confident, he had evil spirits.
This is true, because he took the test with vigor.His hands hurt when he was writing, and the sweat on his back soaked his shirt, but he just wanted to finish the answer, and he had to do it well.
Nan Zhuo held the seat in exchange for being stripped of his clothes and stepped on his fingers, and he would not soften his heart to himself.
"Otherwise it would be too bad." He said this to Xiao Guo, sitting on the back of the bicycle and smiling.
"Yeah." Xiao Guo's ear tips were very red, he wondered if it was from the cold.He took something out of his schoolbag and said quickly: "You are already very good, you must be fine...Really, you are very good."
The hot and sweet soy milk was packed in a thermos cup, Xiao Guo put the cup in Nanzhuo's arms, and took him home by bike.
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