withered color

Chapter 32 Chapter 31 "...Iris."...

Statement fatigue finally understands.

Why did Xu Liangyun ask him "Should I be cured" in the morning?

It's not that he's hesitating to bother with the statement.

Xu Liangyun just couldn't forgive himself.He couldn't reconcile with himself, that bloody scene was always in his mind, it couldn't go away, and Xu Liangyun didn't allow himself to wave it away.

For so many years, whenever medicine and time slowly buried this scene in the soil, and when he wanted to bury it, Xu Liangyun would cut off the medicine himself, dig it out again with his own hands, and tear up the scabbed wound on his heart. Open, let the dripping blood spurt again.

He didn't allow himself to forget.

He doesn't let himself go.

Chen Chen leaned forward, covered his face, and breathed tremblingly.

Xu Liangyun, who he had always hated deeply and was so unfeeling to him back then, was actually there all the time—he was always there the fucking way, he kept crying outside and hated himself all the time.

Why.

Why.

Why.

Chen Yan murmured and asked again and again, but no one could answer him.

The statement that I hate myself also has a psychological shadow on this matter.The more he thought about it, the more he could recall the scenes of being pressed on the electric chair back then, and even the smell of burnt flesh that spread in the air back then.

He seemed to smell it again.

His hands trembled, and he couldn't help exerting some force on his hands, like Xu Liangyun, he started to scratch his face.

It was really painful to dig deep into the flesh with the nails.

Back then... how much pain he had.

Statement Yan was so confused that he could hardly breathe, as if he was drowning.

He felt that he had to go to Xu Liangyun, so he let go of his hand, only to find that his hand was wet, his face was covered with tears, and even his vision was blurred.

He was completely unaware that he was crying.

Chen was stunned for a moment, then quickly wiped his face twice, wiped away the tears on his face, and took two breaths.

He hurriedly wiped away the tears on his face, then raised his head and said to Zhong Tang: "Then I'm going to the bedroom, you go to bed early."

Zhong Tang: "Cheng, I will report the progress of the case to you when I have time, and I will push you to the bedroom first."

At first, Chen Yan wanted to decline politely, but his hands were shaking badly. After thinking about it, he felt that he couldn't push the wheelchair, so he agreed, "Okay... sorry for your inconvenience."

Zhong Tang gave a "harmful" sound: "What are you polite about?"

After Zhong Tang finished speaking, he stood up, pushed the statement, and pushed him to the door of the bedroom.

"Then good night." Zhong Tang said.

"Good night." The statement was absent-minded.

Zhong Tang turned and left, and turned off the light in the living room by the way, and the whole room became dark.

Chen Yan stretched out his hand and opened the bedroom door.

He moved very lightly, as if he was afraid of disturbing Xu Liangyun.

The bedroom door slowly opened.The curtains were not drawn, and through the dim night light outside, he could vaguely see the situation in the bedroom clearly.

Xu Liangyun didn't sit on the bed, he sat on the ground leaning against the bed, with something in his mouth, it looked like cigarettes, but it didn't look like it.

He leaned forward, with his head bowed, his hands clasped together, and hanging in front of him.

In such darkness, this thin figure looked lonely and desolate.

Statement Yan was stunned by this scene.In just this moment, he saw Xu Liangyun in the past five years.

He has been in such a darkness, facing the nightmare alone.

Xu Liangyun slowly raised his head when he heard the movement.

Statement tired can't see his eyes clearly, but he knows what kind of eyes it is.

He stood at the door and slowly pushed the door back.

He stretched out his hand, trying to push the wheelchair in by himself, but his hand was shaking so badly that he couldn't push it at all, and couldn't move at all.

The wheelchair even creaked and moved back a few inches.

Statement-hate suddenly collapsed at this moment.He choked out a sob uncontrollably, then jumped forward and jumped off the wheelchair directly.

Xu Liangyun was startled, and hurriedly got up in a panic and got up to pick him up.

Chen Yan crawled towards him, and he couldn't move his legs, so he just leaned on his upper body and moved forward with difficulty.

He didn't move a few steps, Xu Liangyun quickly ran over.

As soon as he came, Chen Yan pounced on him again and hugged him immediately.

Xu Liangyun froze all over.

Chen Yan hugged him, and kept pressing him into his arms in a panic, crying so hard that he could hardly breathe.

"I'm here..." he said, "I'm here, I'm here...I'm here, don't be afraid, don't be afraid...I'm fine, I'm fine, I...I don't hate You, I don't hate you anymore, you won't have nightmares anymore..."

"You'll be fine, you'll be fine... let's cure the disease, forget it... forget it, I beg you, I don't blame you... what are you doing, you, what are you doing ..."

"Why don't you come in...why don't you come in? Come in and see me, look at me...you tell me..."

"Does it hurt...why don't you forget, why don't you tell me...why didn't you tell me then, what are you doing, you...do you still hurt, do you still hurt now... "

"Why are we like this, why are we like this, why are you...why don't you tell me, why are we..."

"...Why..."

"...Why...Why did it become like this..."

The statement was so choked up that he couldn't speak clearly, and his words were incoherent.He cried so aggrieved and powerless that in the end he couldn't ask anything, he just asked why over and over again.

It seems to be asking Xu Liangyun, but also like asking himself.

Xu Liangyun couldn't utter a word, only his breathing was trembling, and his eyes were reddened by the continuous choking questioning.

He bit his lower lip tightly, holding back his breath that was about to cry.

"Let's go back... Let's... Let's go back... Xu Liangyun..."

These words seemed to have pierced Xu Liangyun's heart all at once.He trembled all over, couldn't help but took a deep breath of trembling air, slowly lowered his head, curled up in Chen Yan's arms, leaned on his shoulder, and finally cried out.

He cried heart-rendingly, and he held on to the statement, like holding on to the only ark that could save him in the doomsday.

He wailed loudly, crying so hoarsely that his voice was broken, and he was crying so hard that his throat was about to bleed blood.

He is shaking.

"I'm sorry..." he said, "I'm sorry, really..."

Statement boredom is breaking.

"...Don't say I'm sorry...I love you." Chen Yan said to him with sobs, "I love you...Don't say sorry again."

Chen Yan never thought that he would say this to Xu Liangyun.When he said this, the old wound on his hand was throbbing with pain, and it was the same as before, making him want to die from the pain, almost suffocating.

Xu Liangyun didn't answer him and kept crying.At the end of crying, he lowered his voice, and began to choke with sobs. The crying was muffled and depressing, like the past five years.

But he must have heard the statement that I love you, and the statement clearly felt that the hand he was holding on to him became more trembling at that moment.

How long Xu Liangyun cried that night, Chen Yan couldn't remember clearly, because his heart was hurting too, and he kept crying.

Later, Xu Liangyun fell asleep crying and crying, and it took him a while to notice that he was crying too.

He hugged Xu Liangyun and sobbed for a long time, then wiped away his tears, took a few strong breaths, and gently pushed away Xu Liangyun's two hands holding him, trying to stand up and get Xu Liangyun onto the bed.

He forgot that his leg was crippled, and he fell back as soon as he stood up.

Chen Yan felt wronged, but there was nothing he could do. It was cold in the night, so he had no choice but to crawl to the bed, get a quilt and get off, then crawled back again, wrapping himself and Xu Liangyun in it with all his strength.

He hugged Xu Liangyun under the quilt.Xu Liangyun slept deeply, but his breathing was hoarse, and his breaths rose and fell with statement weariness.

Statement hates to look at him, like looking at the broken years of these five years.

He hugged him, and buried his whole body into his arms tremblingly, his voice was also hoarse.

"Good night."

He clung to Xu Liangyun's ear and said softly.

Stop having nightmares.

State disgust.

On their first night together, they just curled up next to the bed and fell asleep under a quilt.

Perhaps it was due to the effect of the medicine, and reported that he was tired of this sleep and fell asleep.When the sun rose the next day, Xu Liangyun came to shake his shoulders, and he woke up leisurely from his dream.

Chen Yan slowly opened his eyes, and saw Xu Liangyun holding a blue flower, looking at him cautiously in front of him.

Statement Yan was not very clear-headed, so he just opened a pair of sleepy eyes and looked at Xu Liangyun blankly.

"...Iris." He heard Xu Liangyun say, "I have to go out to check today...I bought you breakfast, if you have anything to do, send me a message, and I will try to come back as early as possible in the evening."

While talking, Xu Liangyun stuffed something into his hand.

Statement disgusted that the brain was still on, and it didn't provide any functions at all. It just looked at Xu Liangyun like a fool, and couldn't say a word.

Xu Liangyun seemed to have said something else, but he couldn't hear the statement very clearly.

Xu Liangyun should have known that he would be like this a long time ago, so he smiled helplessly at him, reached out and touched his face, and said, "I'm leaving first, you can sleep later."

As soon as Xu Liangyun touched him, he became sleepy again when he was bored with the statement.

He didn't say a word, just fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, the sun was already high outside.

Chen Yan got up from the bed, looked down, and found that he was actually holding a bunch of blue irises in his hand, and they had already withered a little in his arms.

Chen Yan sat on the bed, holding a bunch of wilted blue irises in his hands, speechless for a long time.

After 2 minutes of restarting his brain, he remembered what happened in the morning and what happened last night.

So he turned his head and looked around, and found that he was not on the ground, but on the bed—probably Xu Liangyun carried him up.

And on the bedside table next to it, there is also a tofu nao.

Chen Yan hugged the wilted flowers and was silent for a long time.

He pouted, put down the flowers, got out of bed, and tried to see if he could stand up.

As a result, he fell to his knees on the ground.

The statement was speechless, kneeling on the ground and sighing.

It's okay, it's not a big problem, I'm used to this situation.

Just as he was thinking this, someone pulled his arm suddenly.

Chen Yan looked up and saw Xie Weixian holding one of his arms, his expression seemed a little speechless: "What are you doing?"

Statement: "... get up."

"Then you don't have to say hello."

Statements: "..."

Xie Weixian helped him back to the bed, and said: "Eat your breakfast, it's been sitting there for an hour, it's almost cold."

Statement Yan looked back at the bouquet of flowers worriedly.

He turned his head and asked, "Is there a vase here?"

"Yes." Xie Weixian said, "You want to arrange flowers, right? That person bought a vase when he came back from buying flowers in the morning."

Chen Yan hurriedly handed him the wilting iris flower: "Put it in, water it, please hurry up, it's going to die."

Xie Weixian knew it would be like this, took the flowers over, urged him to eat quickly, then turned his head to arrange the flowers.

Only then did Chen Yan feel relieved, and turned his head to eat.

He turned on his phone and checked the time, it was now 08:30.

Then Xu Liangyun left the house after seven o'clock.

He is very busy.

Chen Yan muttered in his heart while eating, and turned on his phone to look again.

Xu Liangyun sent him several messages, which were no different from yesterday's, asking him to eat well and try to eat as clean as possible, saying that he would try to come back early at night, but it was probably hanging.

There is also a sentence: "I couldn't speak yesterday and didn't reply to you. I feel a little bad. I said to you several times in the morning that I love you. I don't know if you heard it."

Statements: "..."

Thank you, I didn't hear a word.

As soon as Chen Yan was regretting, he saw Xu Liangyun added a sentence below: "If I didn't hear it, I will talk about it at night when I go back."

Statement tired instantly feel better.

Xu Liangyun talked more today than yesterday.Yesterday he was still a bit afraid to chatter, and he never dared to split into two sentences if he could finish a sentence, and he didn't even dare to say more.

Today he posted several big posts, taking pictures of the sky when he went out and his breakfast, even taking medicine and drinking water, and obediently reported to him that he drank water and took medicine today, and did not swallow it raw.

He also said that he did not smoke yesterday or today, which reassured Chen Yan.

Although he was still very cautious, it seemed to make him feel a lot easier to reveal everything.

And between the lines, Chen Yan felt that Xu Liangyun wanted to cling to him.

Chen Yan babbled a few nonsense words to him while eating, told him to quit smoking and take his time, and then helplessly sent him: "Buy me flowers from now on, don't put them in my hands when I'm sleeping, I almost didn't crush the flowers."