Transformation or Death

Chapter 159

while nameless (1)

before reaching even ten years of age. i ran away from home once. i don’t remember the reason. anyway, i remember being extremely angry at the time.

what started as an anger-driven night walk gradually mixed with excitement. the empty streets under streetlights, the cold air, the soft echoing sounds of insects, and the smell of grass. it was like seeing the pre-villain era that i had only heard about in stories, enough to fill a child’s heart with romance and adventure.

i ran endlessly with the infinite energy unique to children.

but it was an extremely stupid thing to do. for a child who hadn’t yet fully learned all the evacuation procedures to wander the streets at night without a guardian was nothing short of suicidal.

taking advantage of the magical girls’ loose patrol, a villain appeared on the street.

the first villain i saw up close was extremely large and scary.

i stood there crying loudly, unable to even think about running away.

by the time my crying began to subside, the villain was gone and a girl stood before me.

-are you okay?

i remember her, shining so brightly it seemed blinding. a person of sky-blue who was strong and beautiful. sometimes appearing like glass, and when i looked away and back again, she looked like a rock. she was a mysterious person.

ridiculously, the first words that came out while looking at her weren’t ‘thank you’ or praise like ‘amazing’.

how can i become like that? that’s what i asked.

-oh? hahaha! i hope we meet again sometime. then, i could show you something good.

that statement came true unexpectedly. when i was attacked by a villain again, you saved me like this time.

you smiled bitterly and led me to a place.

-with this, you won’t have anything to fear from villains!

that’s how you proudly showed me the machine you said you made.

looking at you and your creation, my eyes sparkled.

***

ippotranslation

***

“ah fuck.”

he had a dream. a dream – he didn’t know he could still have such things. when was the last time he had a dream? it’s been so long ago that he can’t even remember anymore.

“what’s wrong, comrade?”

“i had a dream.”

when jason asked, the archer shook his dizzy head and answered.

“that’s good news. dreams are where the unconscious and conscious meet. perhaps you might discover memories and feelings you didn’t know about?”

jason was delighted at the news of the dream. he seemed to think it might be a clue to finding an unknown purpose.

“what the hell are you talking about... it’s not like that. i told you before. i remembered past events after taking drugs.”

“is that so?”

“it’s exactly the same as what i saw then. there are no clues or whatever.”

“that’s unfortunate.”

jason clicked his tongue in disappointment.

“this damn...”

the archer placed his hand on his forehead and let out a deep sigh. the memories that rose like byproducts as starlight circulated through his body were full of confusion.

was he acquainted with master? or was it just a fragmentary meeting? what was that machine? was this rusted piece of metal on his waist that machine?

there’s so much unknown. if only he could see more memories.

“if i knew the past, i could know the purpose...”

if there’s a purpose, there must be a corresponding motivation. past experiences would provide motivation for the purpose.

however, all he can see is scenery. it’s hard to know the feelings from back then. it’s like watching a first-person movie without any narration. even his own voice is censored, making it difficult to know what he was saying.

“damn this shit. how do other villain know their purpose so clearly when they don’t even have memories?”

“even if you say that... i wouldn’t know since i’m not included in ‘other villain’ like you.”

“i was talking to myself, bastard!”

the archer yelled irritably for no reason.

“your fits have been getting worse lately. at this rate, i might catch mental illness too.”

jason was genuinely puzzled.

“then... what do you suggest?”

“...hmm, can’t be helped. let’s act like proper villain.”

in the end, there was only one way.

“let’s raid at night.”

“still underhanded as ever. as expected from an archer who keeps sneaking around from behind...”

“i’m a warrior, damn it!”

it was an empty claim that no one acknowledged.

***

ippotranslation

***

“where are you going to sleep?”

“yeah.”

yoon seol-hwa nodded.

“still haven’t found a place?”

“...yeah.”

it’s hard to find a place as cheap as the previous house. even though the real estate market is generally declining these days, it’s still out of reach for the penniless han jae-jung.

even a-grade cities that were deemed safe have been breached by villain. from the attack on the magical girl headquarters to the recent water disaster. many people must be trembling in anxiety and fear.

even han jae-jung, who doesn’t watch the news, could guess that much.

“th-then... what are you... going to do?”

yoon seol-hwa carefully stammered. she had already committed kidnapping before. even her conscience wouldn’t let her suggest ‘want to stay together?’

the best outcome would be if han jae-jung asked for help. the moment he asks first, yoon seol-hwa would act like she’d give him her liver and gallbladder.

yoon seol-hwa calmed her pounding heart while endlessly praying for the word ‘help’ to come from his mouth. even her low blood pressure would be cured right now.

“i’m staying at ah-yoon’s place for now.”

but unfortunately, no request for help came from his mouth.

“wh-what?! so, so you’re staying at ah-yoon’s house...?”

living together? how enviable. yoon seol-hwa bit her lip.

“no, not like that, i’m just sleeping in the café’s night duty room for a bit.”

fortunately, the café had a place to rest. the unused night duty room was quite spacious, so there was no problem staying there temporarily.

“will you be okay? isn’t it uncomfortable? you could hurt your back sleeping in a bad place... jae-jung, just come to my house...”

“that’s a bit...”

the answer didn’t come from han jae-jung. it came from joo ah-yoon, who was frowning uncomfortably at the counter.

“how can brother stay with you, sister, when we can’t trust you.”

“ah...”

“ah-yoon.”

after the kidnapping incident, she was particularly sharp towards yoon seol-hwa. even when han jae-jung scolded her in a stern voice, she snorted as if not listening at all.

“what, did i say something wrong?”

han jae-jung felt complicated.

later when he disappears, those two need to get along well. what if they don’t reconcile by then? he felt like he could understand the feelings of a father leaving home with quarreling sisters behind.

the fact that he’s terminally ill hasn’t gone away. he will die within a few years.

han jae-jung looked between joo ah-yoon, who was glaring sharply, and yoon seol-hwa, who had her head down low, with a heavy heart.

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